How to frankly treat a Broker wannabe

QUESTION: Sir John, I want to become a Broker like you. Can you help me become a licensed Broker?

ANSWER: No, I won't help you. If the number of brokers will become too many, our professional fees will become cheaper. Mag Salesperson ka kung gusto mo mag-benta-benta. Starting June 2012, you have to be a graduate of 4 year course BS Real Estate in order to qualify to take the exam. If ever you will take the course, I wish you all the bad luck, I hope you will not graduate, I hope you will shift course in the middle. We will make the exam very difficult to make sure that you will not pass. Baka tatabihan mo pa negosyo ko, maging competitor pa kita, bababa kita ko. Makikisali ka pa sa hati-an ng pie ng professional fee. Never ask that question again to a hungry Broker because you will never like his frank answer.

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If there is anything else important that I forgot to include in this article, or if you experienced a real estate transaction that is anomalous, scam, fraudulent scheme that you want me to document and expose for others to be warned, or if you want to donate to the war chest of real estate consumer rights advocacy, please feel free to email me at JohnPetalcorin@Gmail.Com. If you want to comment about this article, there is a provision for this purpose that you can find below.
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Frozen Chicken

Rene Gramonte, February 12 2010

A man finally got his viagra prescription and tries it out as soon as he gets home; takes one pill and waits for his wife to come home from work. Unfortunately, he left the viagra package open and his pet parrot eats all the pills!

Seeing what happened and panicking, the man grabs the bird and shakes it upside down. Just then, his wife was coming in and his viagra was starting to take effect. W/o thinking, he stuffs his parrot in the fridge freezer to cool off and he goes to the bedroom to make love to his wife.

After three hours, he suddenly remembers the parrot and runs to the fridge.He opens it and there's the bird sweating and panting heavily.

"What happened?" he asked. "You've been there for 3 hours and not only are you alive but you're sweating like hell!"

The parrot pants "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"

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The Horse and the Cop

Rene Gramonte January 31 2010

Romeo - nabanggit mo ang kabayo... I have a horse story. Ganito 'yon.

This happened sa harap ng Chamber of Commerce sa Mla behind Mla Hotel... nadapa ang payat na kabayo (lalake) sa pagod. Nilapitan ng pulis ang kutsero para tumulong maibangon ang kabayo. Ayaw tumayo. Napadaan ang isang jeepney, pumara at nanaog ang driver... binulungan ang kabayo at ito'y biglang tumayo!Nagulat ang pulis! "Ano ba ang ibinulong mo sa kabayo, pare?""Sabi ko sa kabayo 'tayo na, loko, bakla ang pulis na 'yan!"

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Sexy Lady Sucking Fingers

Rene Gramonte, January 31 2010

A sexy woman in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartener over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks for the manager. "He's not here," the bartender says, "but I can do anythng the manager can do for you."By this time the woman is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers. "You sure he isn't here?"The bartender says, "Yes, I'm very sure."The woman says, "Well, I just wanted to tell him there's no toilet paper or soap in the women's toilet."

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